3 More Months

There are 3 more months until the end of the year. 3 more months until gyms are in membership heaven, reeling in the healthy hopefuls. 3 more months until Anti-New Years Resolutionists appear and the “New Year, New Me” declarations begin.

How has the year flown by so quickly already? January 2016 feels like it was just a few days ago and here comes January 2017 trying to make me proclaim what changes I will make in my life. Well let me tell you what *insert snap*

I can already let you know that 2017 will be a year of changes and firsts because these last 3 years have been a complete whirlwind that have led me to shed who I was, and rethink how I see things and deal with people.

Within the past few years I have experienced heartache after heartache and disappointments left and right. I kid you not, my life has been nothing short of a Tyler Perry movie. A 3 year long Tyler Perry movie. Actually, a 7 year long Tyler Perry movie if we are being honest (sips tea). I have been beaten up emotionally and mentally, kicking and screaming my whole way…fighting how unfair it all seems. Asking myself how things got here? How long am I allowed to be mad? Where the hell did I get so distracted? Dear Lord, why did Beyonce’s “Lemonade” have to get me in ALL my feelings like that? WHY? I have weeks where I am great. Super “Eye of the Tiger” type shit and I even eat breakfast. Correction: I even COOK breakfast. Then there are days where I feel defeated and feel like I am doomed to fail. No damn breakfast was eaten on those days.

It’s all been extremely traumatic and so incredibly angering, but it has also renewed me.

When you are stripped down to the bare bones, when you have to pick up the pieces of your life and rebuild yourself inch by inch, you come out on the other side a completely different person. Your mindset evolves. Your heart may beat differently, but it’s stronger. Your smile may be hiding your pain, but it’s still there. Your life may take on a whole new direction, but….guess who’s steering the ship?

I cannot cater to people or friendships that do not benefit me or help me grow. Luckily I have a solid few and a wonderful family, so no worries there.  I will not waste my time arguing (anymore). I won’t keep material things in my life that are useless. I have no time for anyone else shit. I will eat all the tacos. I will say yes to opportunities. I will accept help. I will drink more wine (responsibly of course) and I will laugh and enjoy all the weird creepy things my beautiful babies do because…why not?

3 more months to go, but I am already here to tell you that 2017 is not only New Year, New Me. It’s New Goals, New Limits, New Job…NEW LIFE.

And at the end of the day I thank God for it all. How else would I have gotten here?




(note: I wrote this at 4 am while eating donuts and drinking Juicy Juice #Classy)









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